Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Noah was a Looker

UPDATE 3/1/15: I had a reader point out that this post is quite rude, being anti-fat and anti-ugly.  I tend to agree with him.  I pondered pulling/editing the post, but I'm going to leave it for discussion's sake, and apologize for my carelessness.  I should've known better.  I don't say this to appease or gain popularity, but the reader's right, and this post is awfully cruel.  I suppose it was meant to point out the stereotypes, but in the next breath was just as stereotypical.  My sincere apologies to anyone who may find this over the top.  I've got a long way to go.  Oh - and for the record, I actually think the pic of Noah below makes him appear quite appealing.  There is lots an artist can do to persuade our impressions, regardless of weight or beauty, isn't there?


I can't get over some days, how quickly and swiftly King Noah led the people of Zeniff to such wickedness.  Typically we see King Noah as ugly, fat and surrounded by luxurious superfluousness.  It's quite a disgusting picture.  With this in mind, the picture viewer naturally thinks, "No way!  I'd never follow a guy like that!"

(Photo taken from a quite hilarious blog post found here.)

This made me wonder, "Why did the people follow him?"  I think the paintings have him all wrong.

My guess is, Noah was not fat or ugly.  The scriptures say he was lazy; perhaps that's what some people equate with fat.  Mosiah 11:2 says "...he did walk after the desires of his own heart.  And he had many wives and concubines." 

What decent woman would go after a guy that looked like that?  And then be coerced to go along with the idea of multiple wives, in a civilization that thus far showed no sign of accepting polygamy?  And then agree to stay with someone who takes on concubines?  Seriously???

No, I'm guessing he was "really really ridiculously good-looking", like Derek Zoolander says.  Male model good-looking, is my guess.

(photo source)

Seriously, to leave hundreds of people to accept that kind of lifestyle, and then to accept a 1/5 tax standard, and then wholly turn to IDOLATRY???  Like, worshipping graven images! (Mosiah 11:7)

About two years ago I read H.B. Moore's book, Abinadi, which profiles a fictional view of King Noah, and later volumes Alma, and Alma the Younger take a more in depth look at the idolatry that went on.  Let me say, that stuff is just wrong!  I can't imagine being led so swiftly into such things, but it seems clear to me that Noah was one convincing dude.  Flattering. 

The reason I felt to write about this, is it made me wonder what, if anything, would lead me to follow someone away from my God.  I say nothing.  But I wonder if the people who followed Noah said the same.  Let's hope it's not also the case with us!


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